Gay TOTP Interview

God, what is it with TOTP!!?

TOTP: OK, first up - Your girlf's mum picks you up from the station and when getting out of the car, gets her skirt caught in the door and rips it from hem to waist. Time to howl with laughter?
Chris: I think I'd try and pretend that nothing happened, and just get on with it really. I'd try not to say anything.
Matt: I think I'd say "Wow! You've got beautiful legs!" Yeah try and get a bit friendly with her.
Chris: [laughs] Oh yeah?
Matt: Not in a dodgy way! I'd try and offer some kind of respectful compliment.
Dominic: Erm... I'd probably just laugh quite loudly. But I would try and hide it, and I dunno, maybe offer to sew it back up.

TOTP: Aww what a gent! Are you a dab hand with the old sewing kit then?
Dominic: I've done a bit of needlework in my time...
Matt: [Points to his trousers] He did these for me! Well, they're kind of falling apart a bit, but Dom's not bad at the sewing.

TOTP: Rock & roll! OK, next up: You're on a nice country walk with the rest of the family. You're entrusted to hold the lead of their tiny dog, when an absolutely enormous dog comes along and refuses to stop sniffing the little dog's bum. What do you do?
Chris: I think you just have to let nature take it's course...
Dominic: Yeah so do I! I think if I had two dogs, I would want them to breed. If you had a really big dog and a really small dog, you might just end up with er, a medium sized dog.
Matt: I'd just give the lead to my girlfriend and run away!

TOTP: After separating the dogs and going on your way, the dad takes you to one side, to show you a grand vista, but accidently parks his ass in an enormous steaming cowpat. How do you react?
Chris: I think I'd take off my coat and try to wipe him down with it.
Dominic: [Thinks for a moment] Nope! I think AGAIN I would probably laugh long and out loud at that situation. I'd try to contain my laughter but am fairly sure it would come out. I'm sure I'd help his ass up though and say "That's a real shame, son."
Matt: I'd smear it all over my face and tell him it's an anti-ageing vibe.

TOTP: That's er, very new age. Right! Next up: Amazingly you get through the family roast without mishap, but later on, you're partaking in some light telly entertainment, when mother starts laughing so hard that she accidentally lets loose a ripper! Gas masks all round?
Matt: I'm very good at holding back extreme laughter but it always comes out in the form of tears. So I could keep a straight face but I would be just crying with laughter.
Dominic: I was gonna say the same thing. I'd be crying! I would try and hold my nose and not let any noise but I know that in the face of a fart, I'm pointing and laughing.
Chris: Yep! Tears for me as well!

TOTP: Would you not be tempted to squeeze one out to lessen the embarrassment?
Dominic: Nah she's on her own on that one! You could start coughing or something, but why bother?

TOTP: Finally, it's the middle of the night, you're gasping for a drink of water and make your way to where you think the kitchen is, you end up walking through a secluded TV room, where dad is flicking through the adult channels? What. Happens. Next?
Matt: Aww man, this is one eventful day [laughs]?
Dominic: If he was just watching the channels, I'd probably sit down, crack open a few beers and go "Yeah, bring it on!"
Chris: Yeah I was gonna say the same, whip off to the fridge, get some cans in and settle in for the night.
Matt: Hmm...I'd just walk through and pretend I was sleepwalking or something.