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Question:
Not so much a question of what should I do, but more a question of possible motive...
Four years ago I asked out a girl who (at that time) was a good friend and I thought it would go well and all and it ended up that she went nuts over that question, bashed me for asking such a "stupid question" and just overall went apeshit and I have not seen or heard from her since. Well, a few days ago, I get a 'save the date' wedding invitation from her for wedding and reception afterwards. No way in hell am I going, but why did she send it? It brought back such horrible memories for me as I haven't thought of that day in years. Did it out of spite? Remorse? I thought I knew her well back then but obviously I was wrong so I dare not venture a guess really without some opinion. Ideas? Thanks.
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Well it's a wedding.. On one side of things, I know people invite everyone they've ever known to their weddings. Maybe she's over the whole thing and wants to be friends again. I don't think she did it out of spite, though.
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that or it's to rub it in your face. Either way, crazy strange move...
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Exactly, quite strange. Also odd.
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I would have thought if she was over it and wanted to be friends she'd have contacted him sooner, and not through an invitation. 'Tis confusing as fuck,
Take the pieces and build them skywards.
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Yeah and that's why I'm choosing to completely ignore it and I've got that day scheduled for me to work so that will be my excuse so all bases covered lol.
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pilotxavier
1088 posts
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Finally a thread like this! Goes to show how long it's been since I've been here.  So I fell in love with a girl. Amazing girl, everything I want. Waited four years to find someone like her after a couple of relationships that ended really badly. When I met her, she was with this real twat of a guy. Didn't make a move out of respect for her and he ends up dumping her. The opportunity arose so I had to take it. Turns out she also fell in love with me. We went on a few dates, hooked up and all that good stuff and she ends up getting back with the same twat she was with when I met her. Probably the most naive thing she could have done. It's frustrating and it sucks. There I complained.
Musefan1991s Bro
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Hey, you're back.
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Quote Amused87 :
Potential nr. 1: Wow, fantastic guy, asked me out, but is still extremely busy and doesn't have time to meet.
Potential nr. 2: Ex-fb. Asked me to come over to spend the summer sort of together, like we did last summer. It was amazing though!
Potential nr. 3: Ex-classmate from 4 years ago and me started messaging eachother. Back at the time I was extremely in love with him. Never had contact with him ever since we graduated, now he suddenly pops up..and asked me to meet. Dunno what he wants though, probably a nice chat, no idea.
Gahhhhhhhhhh, what a stupid situation is this.
The nr. 1 guy told me yesterday he has a gf since this week! What a prick.
This actually opened my eyes; I don't play the game anymore of sleeping with a guy, whenever it suits them. I'm not a playdoll. I need to grow some self respect, girl power to the fullest.
Nr. 2 can forget it, I won't come over to your house anymore.
Pfffeuww, actually, this feels pretty good.
B.O.Y.
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pilotxavier
1088 posts
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Quote pluginsteve :
Hey, you're back. 
That I am
So does anyone know why a guy wants to get back with an ex after they break up with them? Just want to prove a point here because I love a girl who is blind to this reason and should be with me rather than the twat she's with now... Seriously I'd be the best thing for her and she doesn't see it.
Musefan1991s Bro
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It depends on the reason he broke up with her in the first place. Sometimes you think you're doing the right thing, but in reality you're making a terrible, terrible mistake.
Take the pieces and build them skywards.
Manchester 06 - Wembley 07 - V Fest 08 - London 09 - Wembley 10 - Reading 11 - Manchester 12 - London 13 - London 13 - London 13
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Quote Amused87 :
Quote Amused87 :
Potential nr. 1: Wow, fantastic guy, asked me out, but is still extremely busy and doesn't have time to meet.
Potential nr. 2: Ex-fb. Asked me to come over to spend the summer sort of together, like we did last summer. It was amazing though!
Potential nr. 3: Ex-classmate from 4 years ago and me started messaging eachother. Back at the time I was extremely in love with him. Never had contact with him ever since we graduated, now he suddenly pops up..and asked me to meet. Dunno what he wants though, probably a nice chat, no idea.
Gahhhhhhhhhh, what a stupid situation is this.
The nr. 1 guy told me yesterday he has a gf since this week! What a prick.
This actually opened my eyes; I don't play the game anymore of sleeping with a guy, whenever it suits them. I'm not a playdoll. I need to grow some self respect, girl power to the fullest.
Nr. 2 can forget it, I won't come over to your house anymore.
Pfffeuww, actually, this feels pretty good.
I told myself I'd stop doing that (mainly in regard to this one guy who is just really confusing me....) anyway, was going well since November but sometimes you just really need sex! It's so bad.
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I'm glad I have self control.
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pilotxavier
1088 posts
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Quote AlexDalton123 :
It depends on the reason he broke up with her in the first place. Sometimes you think you're doing the right thing, but in reality you're making a terrible, terrible mistake.
Because he sees her as just another face, is afraid he'll wake up one day and just hate her, and a bunch of the classic breakup lines like "it's not you, it's me". He got back with her because he couldn't get laid while he was single. He really doesn't deserve her. He really is a doucher.
Musefan1991s Bro
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(I'm a bit bitter at the moment)
I had a long distance relationship with a guy for a few month. He lived quite far away but we still managed to see each other every 2 or 3 weeks. It was really good, he was nice and caring. But one day he called me up and told me he couldn't handle it anymore and that he'd rather stop (according to him distance was the only problem, he still cared a lot about me but didn't see a point in making the relationship last longer. Yeah right).
I told him that I understood (eventhough I was quite devastated. We had seen each other a few days before to celebrate christmas and it had been fine as always, so his decision took me completely by surprise. Besides he was the first guy I really had strong feelings for). But I asked him to stop contacting me so I could move on. He stopped....for about 3 weeks. At which point he started randomly sending me texts asking me how I was and asking me out for a drink. This made me completely confused, eventhough I was doing quite fine with the break up.
We run into each other at a party a few weeks later. It was awkward at first, but then we managed to somehow get along (except for the moment when we almost slept together again. But he was the one who actually hold back saying that we were about to make a huge mistake so luckily nothing too bad happened)
After that he kept on sending me texts (I didn't always answer).
Last week he invited me to a party. I know I should have said no, but I still went . It was horrible. We spent the night together, which made me realize I had still feelings for him. I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore because I knew I would end up getting hurt. He actually answered that he didn't see a problem in hanging out together again (not in a true relationship though of course) because we were friends (???????) and that he couldn't care less if I started dating someone else. He even accused me of having came with a "plan" to win him back and that I shouldn't have expected anything more than just a friendly chat with him (wich is completely paradoxal since we slept together again). I started crying and he just stood there, watching me with a look on his face that said : "when the hell is she going to leave?". He turned really cold, it was so unlike him.
And when I finally left, he told me : "so, see you in July then!". That was so humiliating. I don't know what it is about relationships that can turn even the nicest guy into a complete jerk.
So now I'm feeling more sad than ever (even more than when we broke up at first). I know that I probably shoudn't see him anymore but it's quite difficult to let someone go when you still love them (even if they don't love you back). There are just so many things I don't quite understand.
Anyway it felt good to rant a bit. I don't dare to talk about this to my friends, because they all warned me against going and I already feel quite pathetic I don't feel like hearing "I told you so...". Luckily for me I'm leaving on a two weeks holiday with my bestfriend tomorrow that should take my mind off things a bit.
tl ; dr : Love sucks. It should'nt exist. It's a completely useless thing. It only makes you miserable.
(I realize I haven't posted here in ages! Hope everyone is doing fine)
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^ 
Sounds he only wants to use you for the bedroom part. Don't give him that, he's a jerk.
B.O.Y.
Rauw!
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Thanks
I really don't understand how people can lose respect so quickly for someone they have, supposedly, loved at one point.
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^But at some point you feel so hurt, that's the time when you learn fast.
B.O.Y.
Rauw!
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Well, it seems I'm learning the hard way there  That's my mistake I suppose...
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I'm so sorry about your situation. It sounds brutal. Do yourself a service and never be alone with him. Heck, I'd stop replying to his text messages too. Not until you're really over him, you know?
It's good that you're going on vacation soon. That's a major plus. A good distraction, for sure. Just don't give up on relationships or love! I hold hope that not all guys are jerks
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Yeah I think that's what I'm going to do. Not replying to him is the best thing to do at the moment I guess.
Well, I sure hope there are still some nice guys out therem but sometimes I have the feeling they are all already taken
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I recently met a nice guy. :$ Strange I met him last year via a friend, then nothing happened. I accidentally met him last week and dang, now we already met two times and it feels good.
B.O.Y.
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Broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years today. Just feel sick to my stomach. We ended on good terms which is a plus but just don't know what to do with myself
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