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Keyser_So_So :
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user_unknown :
i'm really struggling with this today and it's scaring me and making me feeling so confused... and i don't know why i'm posting this... i spose so i can just let someone know how i feel
talk it out. Whether its in here or a journal or to someone face to face or something.
I'm still really struggling and i don't know what to do. I know i should talk it out with someone but there's no-one around me that i can talk to that would understand. 
I lost a lot of friends the last time i felt like this (a few years ago)... i did tell some of them how i was feeling and they haven't spoken to me since. After that i started to shut out all my other friends and cope with it on my own and i've never really let them back in. There was only one person that really helped me through it all and that was my ex, he was my best friend and well things didn't end in a good way.
And now i don't know what to do... i know i should tell someone that i'm struggling to cope but i'm scared... i'm also pretty sure that if i did tell the few people around me (mainly colleagues) then they would start looking at me in a different light, that they would think less of me.... or worse of all that they may decide that i'm not fit to work - my work at the moment is the only thing keeping me going. I know i should go to the doctors for help but i don't have good experiences with doctors
I'm so scared of the thoughts that keep going through my head but if i admit to having them to someone then they'll be no chance to act on them and... well i'm just not sure at the moment which way i want to go. Whether i want to be able to act on them or whether i want someone to know so they can help me through this...
i'm sorry to burden you guys on here - i know it's not fair on you lot to have some stranger going on when you all have your own lives to live... i just needed to vent to someone and well this is the only place i felt comfortable doing so
sorry. 
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Dont you love being totally in love with someone, who is contsantly on your mind. Yet at the same time you feel down and depressed? Can beat it. 
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user_unknown :
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Keyser_So_So :
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user_unknown :
i'm really struggling with this today and it's scaring me and making me feeling so confused... and i don't know why i'm posting this... i spose so i can just let someone know how i feel
talk it out. Whether its in here or a journal or to someone face to face or something.
I'm still really struggling and i don't know what to do. I know i should talk it out with someone but there's no-one around me that i can talk to that would understand.
I lost a lot of friends the last time i felt like this (a few years ago)... i did tell some of them how i was feeling and they haven't spoken to me since. After that i started to shut out all my other friends and cope with it on my own and i've never really let them back in. There was only one person that really helped me through it all and that was my ex, he was my best friend and well things didn't end in a good way.
And now i don't know what to do... i know i should tell someone that i'm struggling to cope but i'm scared... i'm also pretty sure that if i did tell the few people around me (mainly colleagues) then they would start looking at me in a different light, that they would think less of me.... or worse of all that they may decide that i'm not fit to work - my work at the moment is the only thing keeping me going. I know i should go to the doctors for help but i don't have good experiences with doctors
I'm so scared of the thoughts that keep going through my head but if i admit to having them to someone then they'll be no chance to act on them and... well i'm just not sure at the moment which way i want to go. Whether i want to be able to act on them or whether i want someone to know so they can help me through this...
i'm sorry to burden you guys on here - i know it's not fair on you lot to have some stranger going on when you all have your own lives to live... i just needed to vent to someone and well this is the only place i felt comfortable doing so
sorry.
well if you feel comfortable posting that here, there's no reason why you shouldn't. I think most people in this thread have clearly proven to be open-minded and kind 
I can imagine how terrible it must be to feel so sad and not to have someone to talk to. Even worse is the thought of people actually wanting to avoid you just because you're not overflowing with happiness (rather the oppossite). That's when you can sort out the real friends from the phoneys.
Also I think it's quite sad when people are unwilling to confront themselves with the feelings of their friends or simply other people. Can't help but think they have to be cold inside
One thing I can tell you is that you shouldn't be suspicious of doctors - personally, I think it's always a good idea to see a therapist when you're not well. My mother is a therapist so I know how most of them handle these situations, and well, they deal with people who feel bad or have problems in any way ALL THE TIME. The last thing they'll do is treat you badly or avoid your feelings.
And if you feel like you need to talk to someone but don't know to whom, I would recommend seeing a therapist! I hate how this sounds so incredibly oh-you're-not-well-go-see-a-psychiatrist-you-lunatic, but I hope I've made it clear that that's not the way I see it.
I've also finally managed to get an appointment at a therapist's, has taken me quite some time - you wouldn't believe how long you have to wait in this city to get someone to attend to you.
Hold on, you'll get through it
Dont waste your time or time will waste you...
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I had troubles being tense, pressured, upset, down, having low confidence, being more doubtful, absent minded,always pretending to be ok.. simply im degrading, i cant confirm if im having depression, im feeling being insane lately..
any help? :/
thanks for the attention.
Free me
Free me
Free me from this world.
I don’t belong here..
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I'm depressed to the point that I don't even know why I bother anymore and really don't give a shit.
Life is good.
Fall in love, fall in love with me
Nail a crucifix
Onto your soul
follow my blogger
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heavymetallover :
Dont you love being totally in love with someone, who is contsantly on your mind. Yet at the same time you feel down and depressed? Can beat it.
Same, though i wouldnt call it depression, im just pretty down and have been pretty emotionally volatile lately
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Lead vocalist, guitarist, bass guitarist and tambourine player in ML fire.
I need the darkness, someone, please cut the lights!
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NewStarSyndrome :
I had troubles being tense, pressured, upset, down, having low confidence, being more doubtful, absent minded,always pretending to be ok.. simply im degrading, i cant confirm if im having depression, im feeling being insane lately..
any help? :/
thanks for the attention.
See a doctor or a counsellor, explain to them how you're feeling. I know that's what everyone says, but it IS the best thing to do. You don't have to feel this crap.
I think Im drowning, asphyxiated.
Ethan says:
I like to tap
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I hate feeling this way. I literally feel like my head is going to implode. I have so many negative thoughts and feelings going through my head. It feels like they're all rushing around my head and i can't get a second when my mind is calm. I feel like i'm constantly going round in circles with every thought that i have. I just want it to stop and all go away. I can no longer remember when i didn't feel like this. The worst bit is i have days where i feel completely numb and like my life is happening to someone else - almost like an outer body experience, as if i'm watching my life. It tricks me into thinking i'm getting better but actually it just means that i crash a lot harder
I just want it all to end, i'm fed up of it hurting so much
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^ Hang in there! Try to find someone to talk to, a friend, a parent, a professional if you don't have anyone else. There's always people that want to help you and you need to remember that you CAN get better. With help, you can figure this out! Don't be afraid that people will find you annoying, or that you will put some kind of burden on them by telling them. Talk. that's the best advise I can give you..
One riff can make all the difference ~ Dom
200806 281106 021109 141109 190610 110910 280811 171212
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I hate depression. I hate how it makes me feel. I just can't cope with it. I want to tell my friends how i'm feeling, that i'm feeling so.... i don't even know what word i'm looking for, i can't think of just one word to describe it.. down, sod, beaten, useless, worthlees, pointless, in constant pain and emotional turmoil.. somehow it all sounds so trivial when you write it down
I tell myself that my depression is not my fault and that it's an illness which i need to seek help for. But then everytime i feel like i'm ready to tell someone how i'm feeling i realise how strong they are, and how they've coped with everything in their life. It just makes me feel weak and makes me realise how different I am, making me realise just how uncommon these feeling and thoughts are. It makes me feel even more isolated.
I try and hide my feelings as much as i can because i'm scared of people around me finding out the truth about how i have been feeling. I'm always supposed to be the switched on and level headed one. I'm scared of their reaction and their potential lack of understanding. I just can't predict how they'd react and at the moment the smallest of things send me into a long downward spiral and i just can't risk a negative reaction.
But some times i wish that someone would realise something's not right and force it out of me just so that someone knows, and so they can catch me because at the moment i just feel like i'm constantly falling. Thing is.. there is no-one. But sometimes i think its better that way. Oh i don't know everything in my head is so contradictory at the moment.
Sorry this isn't the most eloquent or uplifting of posts, i just needed to vent it somewhere and this is the only place i know where. I'm sorry to keep burdening all of you on here.......... please forgive me 
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im currently taking lexapro and depekote, its been working to some extent, it takes time for the meds to reach its full effect, so maby i gotta give it another 2 weeks b4 i see true results
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user_unknown :
I hate depression. I hate how it makes me feel. I just can't cope with it. I want to tell my friends how i'm feeling, that i'm feeling so.... i don't even know what word i'm looking for, i can't think of just one word to describe it.. down, sod, beaten, useless, worthlees, pointless, in constant pain and emotional turmoil.. somehow it all sounds so trivial when you write it down
I tell myself that my depression is not my fault and that it's an illness which i need to seek help for. But then everytime i feel like i'm ready to tell someone how i'm feeling i realise how strong they are, and how they've coped with everything in their life. It just makes me feel weak and makes me realise how different I am, making me realise just how uncommon these feeling and thoughts are. It makes me feel even more isolated.
I try and hide my feelings as much as i can because i'm scared of people around me finding out the truth about how i have been feeling. I'm always supposed to be the switched on and level headed one. I'm scared of their reaction and their potential lack of understanding. I just can't predict how they'd react and at the moment the smallest of things send me into a long downward spiral and i just can't risk a negative reaction.
But some times i wish that someone would realise something's not right and force it out of me just so that someone knows, and so they can catch me because at the moment i just feel like i'm constantly falling. Thing is.. there is no-one. But sometimes i think its better that way. Oh i don't know everything in my head is so contradictory at the moment.
Sorry this isn't the most eloquent or uplifting of posts, i just needed to vent it somewhere and this is the only place i know where. I'm sorry to keep burdening all of you on here.......... please forgive me
That's just the thing: you're not a burden! don't be scared to talk.
I do know how you feel.. I've been trying to deal with what I suspect (I've never been diagnosed or something) is some sort of depression for years now, and I've always been too scared to tell someone. still: you really should. As you said, you're scared of their reaction, lack of understanding, scared of being regarded as weak. Worst part is that most likely there are going to be people like that. This shouldn't discourage you though. As you say: it's a disease, it's not your fault, you're not weak. and just remember that there are always people that WANT to help you! I know that when you start thinking about it and write it all down, it seems like you're overreacting and all that, but when taking an objective view on things you will see that you're not. and analyzing yourself isn't gonna help you. Comparing yourself to others with a depression isn't either. Everyone is different, and the symptoms you have might appear to you not to be as severe as others', it doesn't mean you don't have it and would be 'just' weak.
Really: try to talk to someone closer to you (in distance), cos it's good that you talk about it here, but that's not enough. I don't know what you position is, but if you really don't know who to talk to, try your doctor: he can help you get to the right people. that way you don't even have to tell your friends if you really don't want to (though it would be better of coarse to have a friend or relative you can trust with it as well.) It's hard for me, cos I really want to help, but I can't do that. I can't be that person. You really have to try to find someone around you.. Good luck! try!
One riff can make all the difference ~ Dom
200806 281106 021109 141109 190610 110910 280811 171212
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I don't want to be depressed, cause' it makes me feel emo.
But on the bright side, If I'm depressed I can compose proper music.
The slime looks so good on your face. One for charm, one for disgrace. Cunt.
Last.fm | Tumblr
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MendiR :
That's just the thing: you're not a burden! don't be scared to talk.
I do know how you feel.. I've been trying to deal with what I suspect (I've never been diagnosed or something) is some sort of depression for years now, and I've always been too scared to tell someone. still: you really should. As you said, you're scared of their reaction, lack of understanding, scared of being regarded as weak. Worst part is that most likely there are going to be people like that. This shouldn't discourage you though. As you say: it's a disease, it's not your fault, you're not weak. and just remember that there are always people that WANT to help you! I know that when you start thinking about it and write it all down, it seems like you're overreacting and all that, but when taking an objective view on things you will see that you're not. and analyzing yourself isn't gonna help you. Comparing yourself to others with a depression isn't either. Everyone is different, and the symptoms you have might appear to you not to be as severe as others', it doesn't mean you don't have it and would be 'just' weak.
Really: try to talk to someone closer to you (in distance), cos it's good that you talk about it here, but that's not enough. I don't know what you position is, but if you really don't know who to talk to, try your doctor: he can help you get to the right people. that way you don't even have to tell your friends if you really don't want to (though it would be better of coarse to have a friend or relative you can trust with it as well.) It's hard for me, cos I really want to help, but I can't do that. I can't be that person. You really have to try to find someone around you.. Good luck! try!
Thing is i've been coping with this for nearly a year now, it's not getting any better. ..[Or at least i think it is starting to get better and then a day like today happens and i realise i'm not even remotely better but have just been feeling numb or have been forcing all those feelings and thoughts to the back of my mind. They then just hit me that much harder.] and who do i tell, i don't feel like i have anyone and i'm not sure i'd feel comfortable talking about it to a Doctor (even tho i know thats what they are there for). I've thought about telling some of those around me but when it has actually got to doing it then the words have disppeared or they've ended up telling me they are in need of help so i can't really say anything. I'm starting to feel like it just doesn't matter anymore. I just can't see the point of telling anyone, they can't wave a magic wand and make these feelings disappear, so what's the point in worrying them.
Oh i don't know, sometimes i want help and other times i just want to be left alone to deal with it on my own. Sometimes i think that's just the best thing for everyone.
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lynneR
2841 posts
 - dunfermline
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^are you getting any treatment for it? I've suffered depression on and off for years and I get quite bad SAD every year but I think I deal with it better now maybe because I know now you can come back from rock bottom and actually feel happy again I recognise the signs better now although sometimes I don't care and let the negative feelings feed on themselves, that's the trouble with it, you have to care enough to want to get better.
There's a lot more people like us out there you know, not many people know how down I've been at some points because I hide it-I don't want to bring other people down with me. I think I appreciate things more because of it though, just feeling emotions whether good or bad is great, the numbness was the worst part for me, just feeling dead inside. I'm on Prozac long term as it's a chemical imbalance that comes back without it-it doesn't work miracles but stops me getting so low and makes it manageable.
I know what you mean about how the feelings don't look much when you write them down-I think of it as a big black pit of pain, despair,self-hatred and nothingness pulling you in, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
when I am gone,it wont be long before I disturb you in the dark
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^ no i'm not. I did nearly tell someone about it today though, i thought about it and kinda thought it was about time someone nearby knew. But then when it came to it i realised i'd had an okay day today and that maybe i could cope with it after all. Silly thing is i now realise that its a catch 22 situation. I won't tell someone if i have a good day because i feel they don't need to know but also won't tell them when i have bad days because the things i think and feel then are too horrible to say out loud.
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user_unknown :
^ no i'm not. I did nearly tell someone about it today though, i thought about it and kinda thought it was about time someone nearby knew. But then when it came to it i realised i'd had an okay day today and that maybe i could cope with it after all. Silly thing is i now realise that its a catch 22 situation. I won't tell someone if i have a good day because i feel they don't need to know but also won't tell them when i have bad days because the things i think and feel then are too horrible to say out loud.
I remember myself in that situation when i couldn't decide to tell anyone about what was going through my head, and i was really scared of those thoughts.
But the moment came when i realised that i'm only getting worse keeping it inside, so i simply went to a doctor, it was a good decision because talking to a professional wasn't so tough as it could have been if talking to a friend or my parents first.
I started visiting that lovely doctor and it helped me to see all my troubles in a new light. Of course, i also got some treatment; that and the knowing that there are some people who do know my situation and want to understand me and help me gave me a true relief.
I'd really honestly suggest you no longer suffer alone but go and do smth about it. Wish you best luck, i know it's really hard at the moment but it will slowly get easier, just don't stay emotionally isolated.
EDIT:
have I killed yet another thread..?
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^
You haven't killed another thread. I've kinda been staying away from this thread, trying to get my head together and not burdening you lot with my problems. Also i've just kinda been numb for the last few months, not really feeling anything just getting up, going to work and surviving. I'm worried that those feelings are starting to come back tho. and that i'm starting to feel things again and the pain is still the same as ever. I'm just trying to ignore it but i'm not sure it's working.
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I hate being depressed for no god dam reason. All the problems I've got currently, I've been dealing with, but right now they're just getting to me!
Reading 2002
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Glastonbury 2010
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A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song.
There are wider studies about Mindfulness though it may not work for everyone
1. Meditation (not specifically yoga, lol)
2. Deep breathing
3. Listen to music
4. House cleaning (mind + your environment)
5. Observe your thoughts.
Avoidance only disconnects you to what you are feeling. You need to find a safe environment to express it whether it be with a professional, someone you know or through an activity you used to/do enjoy. As many have said before, go for a walk, write it down etc. Change the way you relate to it, acknowledge whatever you are feeling and that there are people out there who want to help. Rediscover who you are and what you really need. Trust yourself.
Have a look at www.livinglifetothefull.com
As Roosevelt once said "Above all, do something"
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You might find this helpful:
http://farewellprozac.blogspot.com/
People tend to underestimate - or maybe just fail to understand - how being depressed isn't about being in a bad mood. It's about unpredictable crushing weight on your brain, and feeling like you're in a smog that will never clear and - mostly - that it's all your fault. Antidepressants, therapy, any kind of treatment you can get is better than doing nothing. Don't be afraid to challenge your thoughts and face up to your problems, however difficult it seems. Self-awareness of what you're thinking and why will help you a million times more than burying your feelings and trying to avoid them.
Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present
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heg
550 posts
 - Newcastle / Blackpool
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I dunno if it's been mentioned already, but there's a herbal remedy called St Johns Wort that you don't need a prescription for that is supposedly as good as (if not better) than prescribed anti-depressants. I mean it's proper scientific research that has looked into this, I'm not saying this as some alternative therapy nut. I cant speak from experience of taking it, but from what I've heard I'd reccomend it as an easy way to try and feel better for anyone who's having problems.
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^Just don't use it if you're already on antidepressants. Studies have shown that it can be helpful to some people suffering from mild-to-moderate depression
I think Im drowning, asphyxiated.
Ethan says:
I like to tap
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heg
550 posts
- Newcastle / Blackpool
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^ What she said also! I wont argue with someone who sounds cleverer than me!
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I've only just found this thread and read through other peoples posts.
Alot of the stuff in these posts is actually very similar to things I feel. I've suspected for a year now that i may have contracted some form of very mild depression but I don't like to think I have just in case I'm being melodramatic and everybody experiences what I experience when they're having a bad day. I look around though and see huge groups of people and realise the large lack of truly close, solid friends I have and feel completely secluded. I haven't been
out outside of college with anyone but my girlfriend for over a year now and when I do have a good day with some of the people I'm friendly with in my lessons it's the best feeling ever but it can easily be brought right back down again by some mindless comment by a complete dick with their large clique of friends that are all there for each other who don't realise or think about what they're saying because I have such low self-esteem and confidence and was actually having a good day.
I feel kind of weird pressing submit on this actually. A group of internet forum members will be some of the first people that I have truly told how I feel in this way and I don't even know them.
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